18F, moving to illinois in a few months. send me asks if you brave, send me submissions if you into that shit. Sexuality: if you look cute im probably into you.


I spent like 10 years of my life pretending to fly around on a broomstick and you’re asking me if preparing for a love scene was ‘tricky’ because the other person also had a penis?

Daniel Radcliffe (via hankgreensmoustache)




can she just get an award or something

I reblog this whenever it pops up on my dash.

So many directions she could have gone with this joke…out of infinite possibilities…she picked the best possible direction.

(Source: aryanstark)



Ways for Chef to Circumvent Taste-Tester and Defeat King

  1. Only poison 10% of the chicken breast. The odds that the taste-tester will eat the poison part is slim but the king will probably eat at least some of the bad part
  2. Use any poison that takes longer than an hour to work
  3. Use a very dense…


there’s a pigeon sitting on my roof and he looks sad im pretty sure its because mcdonald’s ground up his family and friends and used them for Mighty Wings

I found the vegan

Anonymous asked
top six ways to insult boys



  1. purposefully forget their names
  2. any time yr talking about anything outside the realm of COD, energy drinks, or football, pause and giggle and say “oh, but sorry - you wouldn’t know anything about this, right? we can change the subject”
  3. extension on #1: call him by the name of another boy w the same hair color as him. when he protests, laugh and act like he’s trying to trick u
  4. "hold this." stop acknowledging him for the remainder of the encounter until it is time to collect you bag/purse/coat/etc
  5. "sorry, what? i wasn’t listening" rinse and repeat
  6. tilt yr head. make a cute face. “awwwwww”

the boy tears in the notes are amazing